Roman Bros Have No BDE

Roman Bros Have No BDE

Romulus: *WHEEZE*

Dinos: … right… So we only conquered half of the known world. Nothing worth mentioning.

Romulus: anon said… pfffftttt… anon…

Dinos: Romulus really?!!

Romulus: Oh My Gods… listen… so I knew this guy from Mauretania…

Dinos: NO! Not this story again

Romulus: …hung pffttt like a horse. It was quite the spectacle. Everybody wanted to see and be his friend. It was SO funny. Like it’s kinda cool if you can wiggle your ears but this is way cooler.

Dinos: just shoot me now

Um um ok so I doodled a foxy grandpa today and…

Um um ok so I doodled a foxy grandpa today and thought of you since you’re like..super cool and oh gosh-. The world always needs more Rome-.

Also I’m sorry – I know this is kinda out of nowhere–.

@ask-deus-romano HOLY SMOKES HE IS HOT AF. Now we definetely need more of that. Thanks for sharing.

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grandparomeaskblog:

“And they lived happily ever after, seriously, people do that?!” – Remus

Ok so I wrote this short synopsis of Remus impossible love life. Pfffffttttt… I’d like to say it gets better after this… but I would be lying Ha Ha. Anyway these are the first 6 of 12.

1) 220 BC – 210 BC Marcella

Remus first married when he was fairly young, about 16. He first felt little for the idea when his boss told him to marry a friends niece but he couldn’t really say no. It was nothing more than a diplomatic gesture that pressed a possible lifetime commitment on the young man. His fiancee was a little younger and just as thrilled to get married so the wedding and the first weeks after were pretty akward. They tried to make the best of it. Now Remus was anxious about a lot of things but being in control of others made him feel slightly better. When things got rough he tended to take it out on his wife. She aged, of course, and somehow that made him grow harder as if he needed to strengten his dominance. She grew strong and fearless and called him out for his bullshit at times and he’d hit her down. In a way he was scared of her and her fathers influental family. But he was in charge in this household and she’d better do as she was told. After ten years of marriage she suddenly died of an infection. To loose someone that was always there, other than a pet, felt very unreal to him. He did miss her in a way.

2) 140 BC – 133 BC Laelia

For similiar reasons Remus wed his second wife, but he did ask for some sort of compensation. That he should feel fortunate he could wed this girl of a good family he quickly shoved aside. If they wanted him, a son of Gods, to wed this woman he wanted some hard cash and favors. And that’s what he got. Quickly he grew bored of her however and divorced her to marry a girl that was more visually appealing to him.

3) 133BC – 128BC Valeria

He did want this girl. He really got out of his way to make it so. She had no say whatsoever, truth be told not even her dad did. Her family was of little importance, but she was stunning. Remus was a abusive dick that totally sucked the life out her. He controlled everything about her life and she was cut from a social life of her own. He was very jealous and was scared somebody would snatch her, so he kept her inside. She lay low not to arouse his anger cause he turned out not to be a very forgiving man.

4) 117 BC (½ year) Aelina

This girl in her late teens found Remus rather charming, somehow, and worked her way around his shortcomings. But things turned to disaster overnight when she made one most lethal mistake. After some festivities in which a lot of alcohol was involved, she mistook Romulus for her husband. And allthough not much happend before they realised the blunder, they had most their clothes on anyway, when Remus heard he was absolutely furious. He actually dragged both Romulus and his wife to court. Romulus was charged with a just a fine but the girl was banished.

5) 100 – 97 Iulia I

This woman was shoved to him by diplomatic means and it wasn’t a happy marriage. He didn’t think much of her and she just tried to avoid him. She soon became completely stressed out by her endless situation and suffered from all sorts of health problems due to it. After a few years she took the roman way out.

6) 70 – 50 BC Terentia

Remus tried to get out of this one, by trying to shove this unto his brother, who was seeing men exclusively. But he couldn’t. He didn’t like her really, but she was intelligent and did what was expected of her without complaining. To the outside world they seemed like a perfect match. But her heart lay elsewhere and so did his. They did stay true to eachother untill after twenty years they divorced, with mutual agreement, to go after the one that they truly wanted.

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grandparomeaskblog:

Remus and the trespasser

What was that sound? He sat up carefully, not to startle his sleeping wife. Perhaps he was just imagining things but he couldn’t shake the feeling off something was wrong. On tip toes he got his gladius and went to investigate while Iulia claimed the whole bed for herself.

Licinus dropped off the wall into the inner courtyard, raising his brow when he felt the tip of a blade down his chin. His icy gaze run all over the blade to meet that of the other. It was silent for the longest moment till the intruder took a step back and coughed deeply. “That’s a nasty cough you got there” “I’ll live” The blade was down his chin again, pressing his face up.

Who was this comedian and what was he here for, the man thought to himself. The intruder looked down to him, hardly impressed by the unpleasant welcome and finally spoke “I first thought you were some new clueless guard, but you must be Romulus brother… cause his guards come better dressed” “Name and business” “Licinus and none of yours” Another deep cough followed.

The man would have stabbed him, but it wasn’t his call, not on these grounds. So he tried to make him talk. “Well I am dressed for the night which is what all righteous people are at this hour. You smell and are glad in nothing but dirt it seems” “Truer words were never spoken. So I’m free to go? I’d like a bath” “Absolutely not” “You are getting on my nerves now” “The feeling is mutual I can assure you. A little late for a visit to my brother, don’t you say?” This pissed Licinus off so much he hit the sword out the others hand so that it flew to the ground with a loud ‘clang’. “No I don’t say. I was BUSY. A lot of Christians got burned out their homes this evening” “And you volunteerd?” “Indeed I have”

So the bastard didn’t even deny it. People just loved to destroy their things. The persecutions were the sole reason why he was under his brothers roof again. It seemed even here they weren’t as safe as they hoped any more.

A guard checked if everything was alright, but gave a nod and left again when he saw the others talking. Licinus continued: “Sorry to say but you are not so popular. Nobody feels like risking their lives for the bunch of you. But I feel every life is worth saving, so yes, I volunteerd. You … still… don’t get it do you? I’m a fireman… I saved your useless brothers. Well unless you stab me instead of just waving your gladius at me like a child, I’m off to my bath and business now” “Just because you did ONE good deed doesn’t excuse you from… whatever it is you are doing to my brother” “See, this is why nobody likes you.” He replied before going his way. But it did raise the question Just how many DID it take?

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ancient-rome-au:

inebubble:

ancient-rome-au:

“Big Dick Energy” has acquired a definition in today’s society that is nearly exactly the opposite of what it would have meant in ancient Greece and Rome. In Greco-Roman art, an erect phallus indicated a man of unbridled sexual passion, and the larger it was, the more horny and irrational the subject was understood to be. A flaccid, small penis on a heroically nude statue was the mark of a civilized man in control of his passions, master of mind over body. In this essay, I will

op wheres the essay

argue that there are several aspects of the classical attitude toward the male anatomy that we should revive in modern society:

  1. Deprioritize size
  2. Normalize nudity in limited social contexts
  3. Normalize the foreskin

On The Modern Definition of “Big Dick Energy” 

Several commentators
including the coiner of the term —

have asserted that BDE does not require that one endowed with BDE have a particularly large member, or even male genitalia at all. They argue that it is type of confidence or manner of carrying oneself in the world that is masculine without being cocky, arrogant, or brash. Therefore, anyone can (in principle) meet that definition. However, at the root of it, the name we have given to this personality type is fundamentally based on a metaphor about penis size:

BDE is a quiet confidence and ease with oneself that comes from knowing you have an enormous penis and you know what to do with it. It’s not cockiness, it’s not a power trip — it’s the opposite: a healthy, satisfied, low-key way you feel yourself.

The idea that a well-endowed man would be likely to take on these personality characteristics seems reasonable enough, but we have to understand that this only logically follows in a society that places such emphasis on penis size as a measure of virility and ability to sexually satisfy his partner(s). There are several assumptions underlying “big dick as metaphor” definition of BDE which must be unpacked and—I argue—dismantled.

Lees verder

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VIII

280 to 320 AD lullia II

Renatus befriended a young widow by the name Iullia. After he had already used nearly any excuse to spend more and more time with her, he asked her to wed him. She mokingly asked him what took him so long. He absolutely loved her curvy body but feared her fiery character at times. She ruled the art of diplomatics however and knew what to do or say, or NOT, for the best interest of her and her husband. She always stood beside him in public but indoors she would violently scream, throw doors and damn him to Hell at times. They fought over everything and nothing. She usually won, whether or not she was right. Luckely for any neighbours, their making up never was so loud. She was religious, born and raised in a Christian family, but pragmatic. Iullia strongly believed that they needed more Christians at high positions, not more nameless martyrs.

In 303 things heated up in the Eastern regions so bad, Iullia persuaded her husband for them to leave and live in with his brother for a while. Romulus was overjoyed and gave them a warm welcome.

Iullia, without children of her own, liked to spoil Romulus’ kids. It wasn’t always easy, even in Rome Christians were burned out their homes at times. But Romulus’ domus was a safe haven. Nobody dared to ask him to hand over his guests.

The bloody persecutions finally ended after ten years and Renatus was eager to leave again, being his own master instead of a guest. Iullia was visibly emotional by the parting. She came to love the family and the old city, but she followed her husband as always. They visited as frequentedly as work permitted untill Iullia’s failing health forbid it. She died a little over sixty. Renatus mourned for a long time. People were sad she was gone, if only because she could reason with Renatus unlike any other. The fastest way ever to get to him, was threw her.

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